Cuddle At Your Own Risk

It doesn’t matter if it’s your significant other, “fwb”, or whatever the hell you want to call it. Everyone loves to cuddle. There is no better feeling than being wrapped in someone’s arms under the warm covers while watching Friends late at night. Although it all may seem cute on the outside, your body may be telling a different story. Sometimes cuddling comes with a cost. You’ve just arrived to the cuddle location for the night. The “Netflix” part of “Netflix and Chill” is over and now you are about to just “Chill”. As a girl with long hair or a guy with a man bun, your hair gets all over the place so Tip #1: of common courtesy when cuddling, is shift your hair to one side or tie that birds nest back because no mans, girl, or whoever it may be, doesn’t want that all up in their face and in their mouth. It is now time to get in position. Some cuddling positions include, the spoon, the chest pillow, or just laying on top of each other. Don’t put too much thought into the positioning, let it happen naturally. It’s time to regain interest in the show you attempted watching an hour ago. Now, you finally start to cuddle. 10 minutes pass and just when you start to relax, your body slowly begins to feel uncomfortable. You start adjusting different body parts but not all at once or else it will be too obvious how uncomfortable you are. 30 minutes into cuddling and your neck cramps up from trying to twist and hold it up at a 90-degree angle in order to see the screen. As for your mans, his arm is now tingling because your 8-10 lb. noggin is crushing the muscles you thought looked so strong. You are both in pain and no one is saying a thing. Tip #2: ask the person you’re with approximately every 10-20 mins if they are comfortable. If you are the person being asked, make sure you answer honestly because you will only suffer in the end. Even if you are comfortable, it is only common courtesy to ask back if they are also comfortable. You can do this by saying, “Why? Are you comfortable? Do you want me to move, are you sure”? The movie or show is now over and its time to go to bed. It really comes down to a personal preference whether or not you want to cuddle throughout the night. From what I hear, most people do not like to cuddle while snoozing. Tip #3: Go your separate way and have respect for each other’s personal space. Personally for me, when comes to bed time, leave me alone. Your body is only going to interrupt the specific way I need to sleep (when its time to hit the hay, get the eff out of my way). After this long duration of separation, the morning is a great time to morph back together again… and the cuddle cycle continues. Tip #4: the final tip- if this is NOT your BAE. DO NOT LINGER, do not over stay your welcome. Stay just long enough to make it look like you care. There are a plethora of excuses you can use in order to leave. Whether it is that doctor’s appointment you forgot about, or have to go and let your dog out to take a whiz. *Walks out door, queue mocking jay call and symbol * But in all seriousness, cuddling can be fun, but do it at your own risk.

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